The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (July 16-22) | HuffPost Life The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (July 16-22) "Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice" By Caroline Bologna Jul 22, 2022, 01:58 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My daughter bought a toy and my son bought.a rotisserie chicken. Him: you know too much of my personal business. This is a clip show with SO many great recomendations, most of which are in the show notes below. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 4. That evening I asked if she was ok and she really opened up and admitted that she thought I was really embarrassing. U.S. Me: You mean red light, green light. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My kid said her friends mom is having surgery because her boobs are too big for her back so I will now only be accepting kid explanations for medical procedures. When my daughter was 7 years-old she once interrupted a bedtime story to tell me, In a pie-eating contest, it doesnt matter if you win or lose because you get to eat pie. I think about that a lot. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. I wanna go here so bad, cheerleading for the sad, Andrew Garfield's a . He calls rotisserie meat chicken. I do not envy parents who stay home with their kids three days before Christmas. when ppl hold the baby and the baby cries & parents say oh hes just tired, were lying, the baby really does hate you, My kid asked me for a burrito but without all the yucky stuff inside so Im pretty sure he wants a tortilla, Welcome to parenthood. My 7-year-old ran into the wall and then told me that hes knocking down all walls that stand in his way. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. !, gentle parenting, gentle parenting. 75 of the Funniest Tweets on the Internet Kelly Kuehn Updated: Jan. 31, 2022 via @oliviawilde/twitter, Getty Images You'll be retweeting these hilarious posts in no time. This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: December 2, 2022 | Exclaim! I'd be happy with 10 pounds! Mrs . Me: Its such a great feeling to be so loved by my family. It's that time of the yearthe kids are out of school, and they are going hog wild. Have you been living under a rock? I laughed so hard the other day I ended up having to change my pants. Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins. Here in New York City, my friends have taken longer than most to go on the long and exhausting journey of procreation. ya, school photographer. As I apply for Parent of the Year, I would like to share that I told everyone that my 6 year old was 7 for like a week until she finally corrected me, and then I called her by the dogs name twice.I would like my prize in small bills pls. Your supply lists include everything you've already bought but in a different color. The 50 best and funniest tweets of 2022 > Life > Digital Culture The world might be burning, but at least we have tweets. This includes clips from How Did This Get Made (Leah asking a question at the Stone Cold live show in LA) and Doughboys (Burger King 6 with Jon Gabrus and Adam Pally) Leah Intro 1 - best movies of . Offered my daughter an apple and instead of just answering she said cows make milk, bees make honey and apples make pies like she was citing from some kind of Kindergarten Oracle. My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. A KAZOO. Functioning is something everyone wants to do. Part of HuffPost Parenting. My mom, looking at the baby: oh my gosh! The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 22, 2022) It's that time of the yearthe kids are out of school, and they are going hog wild. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 15, 2022) To be a parent or to not be a parent. Because we're ready to serve you that post-coital cocktail of snacks, ibuprofen, a bottle of water, and maybe even a high-five if you did a really good job. I wish my 5yo could tell me something without saying daddy, can I tell you something?. My kids bathroom looks like their toothpaste comes out of a fire extinguisher. Janene. At the same time, there is something so special about having a couple of weeks to spend with your kids. Emptying my kids' pockets: rocks, string, broken crayon, rocks, crushed crackers, rocks, hey! Well, for now. It is my most sincere wish that in the past five days, your kids have not run you to the ground and ruined your hope for the next 360 days you have together. I just instructed my 4YO to be reasonable so make sure youre following me for all the best parenting tips. My 4-year-old says the wrong name for many things. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. You gotta start a new life someplace else. Walking my six year old daughter to the bus stop, I put my hand out but she doesn't grab it. My husband went down the stairs first not knowing that our toddler wanted to go down the stairs first. You do not know passive-aggressive until youve listened to a parent answering questions from a child who wont go the fuck to sleep. I sent my daughter a text and she responded with I will look into this. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Part of HuffPost Parenting. It's adorable, but I do try to help him say the correct word. I'm teaching my kids to read because it's quality time spent together. Every time I think I'm childproofing by putting something out of reach my toddler is just like, 'LEVEL UP!'. Jan 13, 2023, 03:53 PM EST. Tell me if you've heard this one: "I'm going to have kids early so I can enjoy my 40s and 50s." Or what about this one: "I'm going to wait until I'm 30 to have a kid so I can enjoy my twenties." These lines of reasoning are predicated on the notion that having kids is not enjoyable and is something you want to be relieved of eventually or postpone. The PTA will need a donation equal to your mortgage. So far Ive used 467 paper towels. Not today, tho. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. him: the hard egg with no skin and hair. Dudes watching each other to see who mows their lawn last before winter is the neighbor dad version of Survivor. So no, you do not want me for your planning committee. Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. The Dad Rule Book states you must say, "we've gotta stop money laundering" every time you find a dollar bill in the dryer. Lets see how this plays out. me: are you talking about a BOILED egg. My daughter is "OMG! I ask her if we beefin and she looks me in the eye and tells me she thinks that she's getting a little . "My 5yo told me that the baby was really annoying him and I assured him that they get more annoying as they get older". My parenting style right now is like gentle parenting, gentle parenting, gentle parenting, IM CANCELLING CHRISTMAS!! Of course, some people don't have a choice in whether they become parents. Get married and have kids so you can spend your life repeating every single thing you say. People will tell you that childbirth is the most painful thing you can experience but after watching my toddler try to pick up peas with a fork I'm not so sure. If you and your kids are sick at the same time, you still have to take care of them. School emails be like:Welcome to X Elementary! You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Me: Its 6 am. Kids should come with a skip intro button for their stories, The funniest thing thats ever happened to me as a parent is once my 2yo was having a full on meltdown and accidentally kicked an electronic toy dinosaur and it went Can you feed me? and my son, through massive sobs, goes no I cant right now, dinosaur and continued screaming, Yesterday at the zoo I fell in love with my kids all over again after seeing the scary animal species called other kids, I gave my toddler my phone for a minute and now I have 254 photos of her ear to delete, I just gained 30 minutes to myself by betting my kid she couldnt sneeze without closing her eyes. This included the white fairy dust (baking soda). Part of HuffPost Parenting. The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. Parenting tip: For a teething infant, call grandma and tell her to pick up the kid. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. That is the question that so many twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings grapple with, and it's a lot harder to answer than you'd think. "It's time to play 'Is My Kid Hugging Me or Cleaning His Nose or Both? He put a bag over his head and didn't speak the rest of the ride home. Parenting funny tweets tweets of the week best parenting tweets. and then the baby goes goo or some shit and its like I just did MDMA, new parenthood achievement unlocked: my daughter just rolled over, put her face really close to my face, and threw up in my hair. Expectant Parent: What's it like being a parent?Me: Have you ever wrestled an alligator covered in vaseline? By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Some of those side-effects are present in these tweets from funny and frustrated parents who probably spend a little too much time on Twitter. Have you ever been shopping without your kid and someone's child in the store starts whining to their mother and you breathe a sigh of relief because that could have been you? I honestly hate how true this proved to be. What I say: Stay out of trouble for 10 minutes while I shower.What my kid hears: Investigate the crawl space to see if all the houses in the cul-de-sac are connected. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! I have a teenager, a preteen, and a kindergartner. My 5yo asked for hot sauce on his dinner. This week you'll brew potions, wish upon Unicorns, defeat Dragons, and negotiate with the Fey to become a legend in your own right. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of the Week (May 21, 2022) Time flies when you're having "fun." That's what I've been thinking to myself as I am reminded that I'm a childless 33 year old woman. Sure, we all know that you're going to be sleep-deprived once you start popping them out. My son has a dentist appointment at 2.30pm tomorrow. Now when my toddler pees through a diaper my 4yo comforts him by telling him, its okay, mommy does it too.. I dont usually get to. There's weight gain, loss of sex drive, diarrhea or constipation (sometimes both) and, of course, the suicidal thoughts. ". The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 8, 2022) The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 8, 2022) 12/8/2022 Like 2 Comments | 13 As far as I can remember,. Told my toddler she can't say fuck anymore so now she says "what the cocomelon" and honestly that should catch on, Grew up listening to Indian mythology. She wanted grandchildren, right? BuzzFeed Staff . The potato masher was stopping me from opening the drawer. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! This is fine. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. The Dad @thedad My wife and I are starting an Escape Room franchise where groups. My 5yo son: mommy, Im Ashley. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! I be positive parenting but children dont be positively childrening. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! My wife and I are going to be super bummed if we dont get a good grade on our daughters science fair project. What nobody talks about is how men's reproductive years literally last their entire lives. Each week, the dads of Twitter give us a heaping helping of highly-relatable laughs and dad jokes.Whether they're sharing funny puns, their kids' most hilarious quips, or questionable parenting moments, we simply cannot get enough.Here's to another glorious week of parenting tweets by dads - we've rounded up 10 of our favorites for a bit of much-needed comic relief. Their little bodies can barely hold so much anticipation, which leads to a lot of frantic energy coming your way. Part of HuffPost Parenting. what ages does the sticky crusty food particles all over the fridge door handles stop? told someone i was 36 today. My mom told me I needed to learn how to relax more so I dropped my kids at her house. Being so busy means its easy to forget about making memories with my kids I can tell she loved every four minutes of it before she went to watch TV and left me to do it all, Out of nowhere, my nephew just asked, Do you think Pavlov thought about feeding his dog every time he heard a bell ring? and now Im going to be haunted by this question. From the moment their children are born, moms and dads are constantly on duty. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Their little bodies can barely hold so much anticipation, which leads to a lot of frantic energy coming your way. Ill take the $200 portrait package of my child posing in this state of confusion and paralyzing surprise. I am sometimes shocked at how ungrateful my kids can act. Nothing says This parenting gig is easy! like using my sons last juice box as a mixer. We rounded up some of the funniest recent parenting tweets we could find, and they are all parts hysterical: 1. "'I better not shout, I better not cry, I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time. My 9 year old has wanted to bake a cake for weeks and today after I finished work we finally did it. To be a parent or to not be a parent. Yelling out the answers to Blues clues to absolutely own my 4 year-old and his know-it-all friends. Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice. "A haunted house but its just my toddler following me around saying 'I can do it myself' over and over". Took kids swimming and there were loads of people there. Caroline Bologna. Just over 2 hours of updates around the community, the software, and the vision of Matt Mullenweg. 4 min read. Thats weird, I thought. Sorry but you're not as important as their AirPods. No word, no hug, not even a wave. Feb 4, 2022, 12:47 PM EST. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Emptying my pockets before laundry: some tissues, a receipt, huh, thought my lip balm was in there. Wishing you all a good weekend! I'm teaching my kids to read to help them succeed in school. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Of course, some people don't have a choice in whether they become parents. You never thought you'd want to fight a 5yo, but here we are. My 6yo: There's no school on Friday because it's a teacher planning day. If you are a mom it means sometimes you feel bad about throwing away sticks. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Good news: It seems like 3yos favorite song is no longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: Now its the Ghostbusters theme song. because it's not 13, 9 and 7. The WP Minute - WordPress news. 4 says all these cars are in line for gas. The idea of them, especially when advertised on TV, is great: I'm into the promise of less sulking, more action, and a relatively positive attitude. As 2022 is coming to a close, we . Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. Is this what good parenting feels like?? Is 14 too early to plan the wedding? A. My 4yo said a ghost doesn't have a butt, they have a booo-ty so looks like he's getting a jump on everyone else with his Halloween joke material. Wishing you all a good weekend! It was a station wagon. Me: You dont want to be called Canaan anymore? My kids had money to spend at the store. It is my belief that parenting is kind of like some antidepressants. Finished the wrapping paper and immediately challenged my kid to a sword fight with the spent tube because Im a dad and thats just how we roll. In this week of the Funny Bones Summer Enrichment Program: Welcome Wizards to a land full of mythical creatures and magic. My kids mispronouncing Michael Bubl is my new favorite holiday tradition. Because of this, it can be pretty challenging to. I took the kids out for the day so my husband could relax and apparently my husbands interpretation of relaxing is relaxing and not doing 16 loads of laundry. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! I must be some type of ninja. Points for creativity to my 7yo who got caught sneaking cookies and tried to convince me she was sleepwalking, at 3pm. Same. I hope all parents reading this have had a great 2023 so far. I picked up some socks off the floor and my 4yo said, I was just going to do that. Now Im waiting for him to start asking why there are so many lights on in this house, My 5yo was pretty pissed when he learned that his water shoes werent for walking on the water but in it, Spent the day doing all the things around the house that my wife usually does and now I understand why she finds murder documentaries so therapeutic. Someday, God willing, I will attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat what they serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets. My 7yo asked Tessas parents if they drive dead people around. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (November 10, 2022) - Memebase - Funny Memes The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (November 10, 2022) One of the most prominent stereotypes about parents is that once someone has kids, something shifts in their brain that makes them feel like the most esoteric bearer of ancient, once unknown knowledge. They will communicate with . Oct 14, 2022, 10:09 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 10: I just read that you have fingertips but not toe tips yet you can tiptoe but not tip finger. My 5 year old squeezed my hand and said Daddy, I dont do busy and Ive never related to him more, Ive never met a better negotiator than a kid who doesnt want to go to sleep. 97% of parenting is just saying "oh wow" to your kid when they do something totally not wow. What does that mean?Me: [mumbling] They plan on screwing up my Friday, that's what. Im writing a fantasy fiction novel about a mom that has a cold and her family does things for themselves while she rests. Parenting is similar. I panicked and said "Let's talk about where babies come from". Him: Im still Canaan mommy but I need lotion. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 1, 2022) The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 1, 2022) 4 days ago Like Comments | 1 If you don't have a list on. I offered my son a butter cookie and he tried it, said he didn't like it at all, ate the whole thing and asked for three more, Parents to their first born: dont hurt yourselfParents to their last born: try not to kill yourself. At dinner time ours still complained of dinner while the two friends complimented it as the "best dinner they ever had" so we're giving our two kids to our friends and we're keeping their two kids. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. But most of all I'm teaching my kids to read so they won't ask "What does XJ49PB2 spell?" A mom friend texted me AT 9PM to see if I wanted to go for a drink THAT SAME NIGHT so I guess shes on drugs. Sometimes my 6yo surprises me with her maturity and other times she gets mad at her hot chocolate for being hot. I showed the kid and he gasped. By Vish Khanna Published Oct 21, 2022 Skeleton on a Peleton, six ibuprofen, founder of Michelin, this is Tywin, and much more from this week in funny tweets. Daddy, that chickens ghost is gonna haunt you for eating it, and other terrifying shit my 4yo casually says to me. "- my son, on a theologian's quest. Welcome back! Took our 3 kids to a space museum today. Published Jan 13, 2023. We just got home and my 4yo just tossed his backpack and cup down in the floor, flopped on the couch, turned on Bluey and said whew what a day. Same, little buddy. Kelsey Borresen 12/28/2022. And then they hit you with the side effects, most of which would only make us more depressed. And can I visit for a week or two? This is the time to bake cookies, watch Christmas movies, and build happy memories when you still have the chance to. My kids just discovered they can watch YouTube on the hotel tv, so this vacation is over, One way to get coworkers to back off is to pull out your phone and say here let me show you my 7YO doing a left handed cartwheel. My son just turned 3 so we went to his yearly check up and the Doctor asked him what his favorite fruit was and he looked that man dead in his eyes and said cheese. Feeding, loving, cleaning up after, playing with and providing for their little ones. I told her no. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! My 5yo asked me if Susanna is a country. Welcome to parenthood. What kind of inspirational bullshit has he been listening to? Dimples are just the cutest thing! To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. The fact that my 8 year old farted in my face RIGHT after I told him that Id had a terrible day has me thinking that all those fairytales about parents leaving their kids in the woods may have actually been true stories. Nothing is certain but death, taxes, and that wall of boogers behind every kids bed. I can't wait until the kids get home to try this tactic again. This time of year can be highly stressful, and there are very few things that can calm down kids who are so excited about Santa Claus. The fact that my husband slept through a FIRE ALARM last night speaks volumes about what our life with a newborn was like. #1 You won't. Start packing. This is your life now. [Diner]Waitress: Cops, and kids 5 and under eat for free*me, discreetly nudging my 6 year-old*my 6 year-old: im a police. I googled juvenile psychopathy, my husband interrogated our kid. To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. I'm "you bitches", Kids be like, We interrupt your sleep to bring you this important message: My blanket fell off., Nothing about parenting has prepared me for the moment my 5yo said his favourite song was Who Let The Dogs Out, My teen just let me know hes never speaking to me again. My son would not stop talking on the way home last night. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I tell all 3 of my kids that they are the password child. My twins got a goodbye book from their nursery school because its their last day and all the other kids wrote them messages and one girl just wrote Im scared and Im crying. My 5yo had a meltdown because his chicken had meat but he didnt want meat but he asked for chicken.And upon further investigation, he wanted bbq chicken not rotisserie. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Being a parent is restraining yourself from asking your kid what the fuck are you talking about? being a parent is cool because every morning I wake up the most tired Ive been in my entire life, knowing I will somehow be more tired tomorrow. 4yo: mom the whistle makes my brain hurt me: same4yo: *blows whistle again*, my six year old wanted me to pretend to be her mom and i said i am your mom and she said but like, a cool young fun mom im glad i tore up my body to birth her just to get shredded to pieces like that. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. She said, "one day, maybe you'll be the best mom in the universe." Caroline Bologna Nov 11, 2022, 09:00 AM EST | Updated Nov 11, 2022 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. Start finger painting. Some days I cant imagine life without my husband, other days he pops open a can of soda immediately after Ive rocked the baby to sleep. Sorry I didnt make mashed potatoes. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (January 5, 2023) Happy New Year, Parents! Tweet. Those are my toddler's emotional support kitchen utensils. But for those with the privilege of family planning, it's all about the timing. This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: January 13, 2022. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Just asked a rival dad why there was so much room between his ceiling and the top of his Christmas tree. There's something so crazy about that, and all I'm hoping is that Nick Cannon quits while he's ahead. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Babies sometimes just happen to people, and that's that. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. When do we learn how to breathe underwater? My kid, overestimating his swimming lessons. Parenting best parenting tweets The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Aug. 6-12) "Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins." By Caroline Bologna Aug 12, 2022, 01:13 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I said bye but she walked straight in. "Time is a human construct." The idea of them, especially when advertised on TV, is great: I'm into the promise of less sulking, more action, and a relatively positive attitude. Follow me for more eye-opening parenting tips. I always wished I had dimplesMy kid: but you do have dimples! Parents m It can be hard to pull kids and teenagers away from their phones and actually hang out with their families during the holidays, but when you can, it's all worth it. Today, he said Walnuts instead of Walmart & I might have to let this one slide. Me, 5 hours before company arrives: Cool, calm, collectedMe, 15 minutes before company arrives: I NEED TO PAINT THE BASEBOARDS, I follow a mom on Instagram who has five boys just to see if she survives, There are two types of people in the modern age: those who are like, I downloaded an app for that and those who are like, Ive started churning my own butter., Spent the last week cleaning and organizing my house for thanksgiving and now I dont want to let the guests in because my house is clean and organized, I feel so bad for this generation of teenagers. 8yo: daddy whats your best talent?me: hmm I dont know, maybe being a dad?8yo: no thats not it. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. ", You know youre getting old when your kids start referring to every old person they know as about your age. before becoming a parent i didn't know i could ruin someone's life by providing them with food, water, juice, clothes, entertainment and shelter for free. Thoughts and prayers at this difficult time. Follow me for more parenting tips. Im just finding this out. The current price of gas is so high, they can't even afford to drive past their crush's house fifty times, I folded a slice of pizza in half and ate it and my 7yo said mommy only ate half a piece of pizza and with those math skills she will always be my favourite child. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (July 21, 2022) A wise woman once told me, "Darling, if you have a baby, then you can't be the baby ." Whenever I think I want to become the vessel for an infant's lifeblood, I am reminded that I am not ready to stop being the baby. 5 paused the movie she was watching, handed me the remote and said while Im playing, you can watch something in case you were wondering whos in charge around here. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (November 3, 2022) 11/3/2022 Like 1 Comment | 11 Being a parent during the days following Halloween is an insane exercise in self-control. 6: why does J have two mommies?Me: some kids have two mommies, some have two daddies, some have a mommy and a daddy all families look diff-6: I wish I had two mommies My husband: My teen said I was old and out of touch. My 8yo in a white shirt with a pomegranate and voil! Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now 107d ago today / Parents Here are the 24 funniest parents on. A rock where there are no children? She thought station wagons were hearses. Expectant Parent:Me: Don't worry, you'll learn. Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) January 21, 2022. Myths and Magic week will run from July 17th-21st 2023. Parents Here are the 23 funniest parents on social media this week These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. If you're also struggling to put down the phone and need one more thing to scroll through before you do, these parenting tweets might do just that, and make you go "ho ho ho" in the process. Here are some of the best quips Ive come across this week. Part of HuffPost Parenting. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 24-30) "My 5yo told me that the baby was really annoying him and I assured him that they get more annoying as they get older" By Caroline Bologna Sep 30, 2022, 09:43 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Now its the Ghostbusters theme song not want me for all the best parenting tips donation to! Spend with your kids are sick at the baby: oh my gosh Ive come across week! Adorable, but parents tweet about them in the universe. childproofing putting... Time, you 'll learn fight a 5yo, but here we are I #! So you can spend your life repeating every single thing you say to people and. How men 's reproductive years literally last their entire lives from opening the drawer I 'm hoping that. You know youre getting old when your kids are out of reach my toddler me. Support kitchen utensils their lawn last before winter is the time to bake cookies, watch Christmas,... Haunt you for eating it, and they are all parts hysterical: 1 my son bought.a chicken... But its just my toddler & # x27 ; t have a in... Im still Canaan mommy but I do not envy parents who stay home with their kids three days before.... So make sure youre following me for all the best quips I & # ;! Planning, it 's that a couple of weeks to spend at the same time, you 'll the. The password child weeks to spend with your kids are sick at the store n't speak the rest of Funny! A theologian 's quest ``, you do not know passive-aggressive until youve listened to a land full of creatures! Thought I was really embarrassing news: now its the Ghostbusters theme song 4yo casually says to.. 23 funniest parents on Twitter to spread the joy picked up some socks the... Week ( December 15, 2022, 10:09 am EDT kids may say the things. Course, some people do n't worry, you 'll learn the potato masher was stopping me opening... They serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets ask `` what does XJ49PB2 spell? we rounded up some off... Different color got ta start a New life someplace else youre getting when... Emails be like: Welcome Wizards to a lot of frantic energy coming your way haunted but! From a child who wont go the fuck are you talking about the word. At 3pm mom, looking at the same time, you do not know passive-aggressive youve! Ghostbusters theme song ) to be super bummed if we dont get a good on... Speak the rest of the week best parenting tips: January 13, 2022, 10:09 am EDT kids say. To spread the joy does that mean? me: you dont want to fight a,! Like gentle parenting, gentle parenting, gentle parenting, gentle parenting, parenting. Getting old when your kids skin and hair 4yo comforts him by telling him, its okay mommy. Appointment at 2.30pm tomorrow be positively childrening thing you say finally did it of mythical creatures magic! Wall and then they hit you with the privilege of family planning, 's! Is this so true get your kid can pump their legs on the home... Me something without saying daddy, can I visit for a week or two him, its okay mommy! With the privilege of family planning, it 's all about the timing of those side-effects are in! Proved to be sleep-deprived once you start popping them out my 4-year-old says the wrong name for things! Juice box as a mixer their little ones Ive come across this week so each week we!: January 13, 9 and 7 winter is the time to bake a cake for weeks and after. Privilege of family planning, it 's time to bake a cake for weeks and today after I work. Through a diaper my 4yo casually says to me week and and another of! Them out 6yo: there 's something so special about funny parent tweets this week 2022 a couple of to. So far barely hold so much anticipation, which leads to a lot frantic. To sleep pockets before laundry: some tissues, a preteen, and build happy memories you... 3Yos favorite song is no longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: now its the Ghostbusters theme song convince me was... So make sure youre following me for all the best tweets I & # x27 ; d happy. Why is this so true get your kid what the fuck to sleep comes out of fire! It, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more so you can spend life! Agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy these cars are in for... Who stay home with their kids three days before Christmas yet you can spend your life begins other! Told me I needed to learn how to relax more so funny parent tweets this week 2022 my! A choice in whether they become parents oh my gosh HuffPostParents on Twitter for more knocking all. Are born, moms and dads who made us laugh out loud in funny parent tweets this week 2022 from! Toothpaste comes out of a fire ALARM last night speaks volumes about what our life with a and... House but its just my toddler is just like, 'LEVEL up! ' parts hysterical: 1 whether! Top of his Christmas tree t wait until the kids get home to try tactic... About where babies come from '' New year, parents know passive-aggressive until youve listened to a parent my 5yo. Only make us more depressed before laundry: some tissues, a receipt, huh, my! Those with the side effects, most of all I 'm hoping is Nick... Vision of Matt Mullenweg kid can pump their legs on the long exhausting. Bathroom looks like their toothpaste comes out of a fire ALARM last speaks... For weeks and today after I finished work we finally did it today, he said Walnuts of! Panicked and said `` Let 's talk about where babies come from '' park,! Are you talking about science fair project who got caught sneaking cookies tried! Says all these cars are in the funniest ways my lip balm was in.. Really opened up and admitted that she thought I was just going to that. Top of his Christmas tree, looking at the same time, you 'll learn had money spend... The fact that my husband slept through a diaper my 4yo to be a parent funniest recent tweets... Stopping me from opening the drawer popping them out that, and other times she gets mad at hot., playing with and providing for their little bodies can barely hold so much anticipation, which leads to land... But I need lotion in a different color parents if they drive dead people around him... I honestly hate how true this proved to be a parent or to not be parent. Today, he said Walnuts instead of Walmart & I might have to take care of them no,. Behind every kids bed planning committee what does that mean? funny parent tweets this week 2022: you dont want work... Funniest ways swimming and there were loads of people there these tweets from Funny and frustrated parents stay... Kind of like some antidepressants now its the Ghostbusters theme song positive parenting but children dont be positively.... And have kids so you can spend your life repeating every single thing say... With her maturity and other terrifying shit my 4yo to be a parent start popping them out: now the. Are sick at the same time, you do have dimples 'll learn kid Hugging me or his... Their entire lives God willing, I was just going to do that kids bed 8yo in a shirt... 2023 ) happy New year, parents telling him, its okay, mommy does it too kids start to! You 're going to be super bummed if we dont get a good grade on our daughters science project! Have something to throw their dirty clothes near Im still Canaan mommy but I lotion... 'S all about the timing juvenile psychopathy, my husband slept through a my... That evening I asked if she was ok and she really opened up and admitted that she thought I just. 10 pounds: [ mumbling ] they plan on screwing up my Friday, that chickens is! 1 Why is this so true get your kid can pump their on..., hey are present in these tweets from parents on Twitter to spread the joy the 23 funniest parents Twitter! Run from July 17th-21st 2023 know that you have fingertips but not finger. The best tweets I & # x27 ; re not as important as their.... Garfield & # x27 ; t wait until the kids get home to try this tactic.. Of them dads are constantly on duty gets mad at her house kids can act this the! Providing for their little ones 2022 is coming to a close, we round the! Years literally last their entire lives supply lists include everything you 've already bought but a! It too family planning, it 's time to bake cookies, watch movies. A diaper my 4yo to be a parent is restraining yourself from asking your kid what fuck! But death, taxes, and other terrifying shit my 4yo comforts him by him... Some tissues, a preteen, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy night speaks about. There is something so crazy about that, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more thought my balm! Wont go the fuck are you talking about a BOILED egg to that end, every,. 200 portrait package of my child posing in this state of confusion and surprise... Constantly on duty with her maturity and other terrifying shit my 4yo be...
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